Title: Drama Queens: Call Off Your Dogs

Author: L.U. Ann

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Release Date: November 17, 2014

Synopsis

 PURCHASE LINKS

Excerpt

Prologue

“Thank God, I was let out of this dirty cage today. I seriously needed a break from listening to those humans cackling about this and that. I sure will miss my tail wagging friends. This human is questionable. His bright yellow pants and pink shirt are giving me a headache. Dear God, please don’t let him dress me up. Wait… Oh, no, I think I’m going to be carsick!”

~ Cujo

2008

“Gram, that seems a little risqué to me,” Mabel says handing me the rough draft of Grams weekly column. “I wonder what the people at your church think.” Mabel raises an eyebrow at Gram.

“Darling, you have to live a little. Don’t limit yourself to society’s rules. Lord knows those rules are violated every day. I’m only doing it underhandedly. And, for the love of God, don’t bring him into this. He and I have worked out an arrangement.” Gram bats her lashes. How can an old woman be conniving yet look innocent at the same time?

Damn she’s good.

I begin to read the rough draft of this week’s column post:

Sunday, July 19, 2008

Drama Queens: Call Off Your Dogs

Citizens of Eufaula, Drama Mama here, and I’m going to tell you two chewable, delicious, bone-worthy reads releasing this week.

Trenda Jacobson’s Wronged is projected to jump to the top of the charts quickly. Trenda brings in Alan Bird—a quiet man who had very few friends growing up. Not because others didn’t like him. No, he was a loner. This behavior kept him away from the real world. With little interaction with the outside world as an adult and an experimental scientist, he found his joy in pain. Not his pain, but others. The FBI has been hunting Alan for years—almost a decade—before they discover his underground lab. When the violent acts are uncovered, will the FBI agents be able to find Alan, and most importantly, will they be able to escape being next in line?

This next one is going to be a must-read. Deliberate Intentions by Renee Gilbert is best described as a modern day Romeo and Juliet—only worse. The two main characters, Mike and Lauren, are high school sweethearts. Mike is two years older, goes to a local community college so that he can stay close to his girlfriend. He makes sacrifice after sacrifice to stay with her. Problem is, she doesn’t. Lauren is brilliantly manipulating Mike as her puppet. This story looks at the problems with young-dumb love and how two teens practically escape a bright future because they are in too much of a rush to get married. Lauren does something very sneaky to seal the deal—something that has great consequences for both of them. Will they get the love and support from their families when everything becomes clear? This one is sure to touch readers of many generations.

Quickly, I would like to take a moment to thank my readers for their support and enjoyment of this unconventional column. This marks my fifty-second column as Drama Mama. For one year, I’ve created quite a stir in the reader, author, and in the publishing world—and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it. I appreciate all the comments and can’t wait to see what we discover over the next fifty-two posts.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way. Let’s get onto the good stuff. People who you interact with on a regular basis can be compared to dogs. You know you have thought about it before. It can be a co-worker, friend, or possibly, a family member. Either way, canine behavior isn’t exclusive to its kind. Take for instance Chihuahuas. They are small and look so innocent, but the moment you piss them off, they are attacking the leg of your pants or hiking their leg on your furniture to show you who the real boss is.

These are the true bullies of the world. Why? Because the moment you stop cuddling with your pocket pet, they turn on you. Let’s have a look at the monstrous Pit bull. Their big, muscular frame has many scared to death of them. They were born with strong jaws that match their strong bodies. But guess what? They aren’t going to turn on you like those little Mexican things. No, they will lick you to death and play for hours. So, when I’m looking for someone to be in my corner, I’d rather have the one that looks vicious on the outside, but has a heart of gold as opposed to the one that looks cute and cuddly, but can turn into a biting piranha at any moment.

So there you have it. Drama Mama’s paw print. Until next week, keep your eyes open for those ankle biters and thanks for reading Drama Queens: Call Off Your Dogs.

“Gram, I’m going to college so that I can, hopefully, become a great writer and editor, but I can tell you now, I won’t be writing stuff like this. You must’ve been born with a set of balls,” I manage to say in all seriousness before looking at Mabel and we fall into a fit of giggles.

“Gertie, you will find people in this industry who are precisely like the dogs I described. It’s best you toughen up. You will encounter some who are nice to your face, become a best friend, but will talk about you behind your back and make you sound crazy. All the while, they are the crazy ones to start with. I’m trying to teach you how to cope with these Chihuahuas of the world. Your best bet is to find a Pit bull.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Are people really like that?

“Sweetheart, you’re young and dumb.” My eyes grow at her harshness. “Oh, please, you know it as well. You need to go out and experience the world. Just watch out for needless drama and the back-stabbing bitches of the industry. I mean, come on, really? No one does drama like me.” Gram smiles before walking out of the room.

“We’re related to that?” Mabel whispers, watching Grams retreating form. Slowly raising my shoulders in a shrug, we glance at one another suspiciously before returning our eyes to the doorway Gram had just walked through.

“That woman is crazy,” I claim.

“No doubt,” Mabel agrees.

About The Author

She lives in Colorado with her husband and two children. Moving from the lush landscapes of Maryland’s Eastern Shore to the high desert plains of Colorado was a drastic change. She and her family moved to their own “Little House on the Prairie” at an elevation of over 6,000 feet above sea level, and a semi-arid climate that makes it hard to grow anything. While barely anything can grow where she resides now, the wildlife makes up for it. Mountain Lions, and coyotes, and rattlesnakes, oh my!

She tries to spend a little time each day writing, but domestic chores around the house usually take precedence. She would much rather hide them from her husband. She tends to her loving four-legged children who at times become much too demanding when she locks herself in the office. This often results in MORE domestic work, and she finds herself cleaning up after their deviant behavior.

She has always been an artist painting as a hobby to back drops in theatrical set designs. Graphic design is her guilty pleasure.

A Destructive Novel is a series of three books based on her life. They deal with heavy life issues and will have the reader begging for a happily ever after.

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